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What is the Need?
Addicts, including sexual addicts, act out
to meet emotional needs. This is basic. Think of a particular time
you acted out and reflect on what was going on with you at that
time. Were you worried, lonely, bored, afraid, relieved, proud
(arrogant), angry, confused, hungry, and so forth. Really let
yourself absorb the essence of your inner condition before and as
you began to think about and plan to act out. When you know what you
were thinking and feeling, consider what you really needed. Did need
to let go of your worry and fear, spend time with a friend, find a
productive and growthful activity, solve a problem? Did you need to
pray, meditate, or contemplate the direction of your life? Realize
that when you choose to escape into acting out rather than
acknowledging your needs, you are not caring for yourself. You are
only masking your needs by the addictive use of sexual feelings.
Resolve that you deserve kinder and more compassionate treatment
than your addict is able to deliver.
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