Andy Warhol Said
Andy Warhol said that in the media age each of us would have 15 minutes of
fame. We would like to avoid infamy in our 15 minutes. Sexually addictive
behaviors are secretive. When we imagine acting out in full view of the public
including our friends, partners, family, coworkers, employers, and so forth, the
urge to act out is quelled by healthy, normal, and corrective shame. This is the
good shame, not the toxic shame. The good shame comes from realizing you are a
messing up. The toxic shame comes from abusive experiences and victimization.
Imagine that you are at the brink of a slip. Your addict is whispering
insistently in your ear that, "This will be alright" or "No one will know" or
whatever the addict in you has to say. Get the setting and the circumstances in
mind, whether that is logging onto a porn site, soliciting a prostitute, calling
someone to arrange a sexual encounter, or whatever. Really see and know
the scene as your ritual preparation to acting out is developing.
Now imagine that a television news crew is there with you. There is the
reporter, the camera person, the sound person, and the producer. The
camera is rolling and you know they are looking for a sound bite from you - a
sound bite to be aired on the evening news along with the background material
the reporter can dig up on you in the meantime.
Imagine that the news services pick the story up and it appears in print and
electronic media all over the world.
Imagine the headlines and lead lines.
- "Sex Addict Slips" - Says his addict said it was okay.
- "Relapse 1 - Addict 0" - Rematch in the works.
- "Today in Anytown USA, a sex addict acted out - Film at 11:00.
Now take a moment and think about how you would really like to spend your 15
minutes of fame. What is the next right thing to do that takes you in that
direction?
